on being 59 . . . random thoughts
Today's my 59th birthday. Dave has to work and I don't really know anyone yet, so i'm not doing anything big or fancy. I might go down to Cross Creek and walk around the magical landscape of Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings' home. For my birthday dinner, we haven't found a favorite evening spot, so I bought a nice locally raised sirloin to have along with garlic mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli and some Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream for dessert. Our favorite local baker, Vine, also has a very eclectic wine selection and we bought a lovely '09 Cristia Rasteau from their wine tasting this past Sunday. Of course, I'll be doing the cooking, which is okay ... should be a yummy meal. Then I plan on watching some silly movie ... I'm leaning towards one of my favorite escape films, Ever After.
But what I really wanted to do was throw out a little stream of consciousness list ... 59 random thoughts in honor of my 59 years. This should be interesting . . . so here goes:
- every day is a gift
- starting each day with a scalding mug of PG Tips makes me supremely happy and I have my online buddy Hillary Heydle to thank for this addiction
- this is harder than I thought it would be ... all those things I was thinking about last night have up and vanished
- another obvious gift - doing what I love with an unbelievably supportive husband ... the things he puts up with!
- and what a gift he is
- sitting here typing along with little Zoe Kitty next to me is pretty special
- still not feeling settled in our new locale ... just not cut out for apartment living
- knowing we'll find exactly the house we're looking for, for exactly how much we want to spend, doesn't make listening to our upstairs neighbor clomping around any easier
- back to the positive stuff ... so grateful for bringing pinch pots back into my world
- ... and finally trying my hand at clay beads. All those years of resistance - must have been waiting for gilders paste
- ah, but back to our new locale ... things I'm loving - that Cross Creek is only about 1/2 an hour south
- GVL is not on every quirky "best of" list
- it's the first "normal" non-postcard place we've lived in 30 years
- for the first time in I don't know how long, I don't feel like a tourist in my own town
- we continue to meet exceptionally nice people and are regularly reminded that this is going to be a really good place for us
- I am wondering where my work is heading
- coming back to my concept from a few months ago ... make what I'm inspired to make, regardless of the medium and share that
- take time for inspiration cruising and share the fruits of my explorations
- actually, I'm feeling like I'm starting over, yet again ... but this time no rushing
- allowing the final layers of the onion to gently fall away
- beginner's mind is a good thing ... deep breaths ...
- follow Jack Canfield's mantra, "if it ain't fun, don't do it"
- try not to get so annoyed with aforementioned upstairs neighbor
- let go of feeling pressed for time and rushed ... everything will unfold as it should
- it's a beautiful day and I'll be out cavorting ... soon
- will check out the huge flock of sand hill cranes that currently reside in the cow pasture at the end of our street
- will pick Dave up from work and then head to the Wednesday afternoon downtown farmer's market ... got a growler of local kombucha waiting for me!
- and I'm planning on making my own kombucha in the new year
- also on my to-do list ... make essential oil based fragrances ... nobody's doing that in town ... a niche to fill
- also on the agenda for the new house - an area for dyeing and setting up an indigo vat
- we will need an outdoor shower
- and plenty of sun, so we can install solar panels
- and room for raised beds for veggies and herbs
- the house can be small if there's room to build a studio on the property
- it would be lovely if there's a sandy driveway ...
- because I absolutely love all the sandy dirt roads around here
- and the massive live oaks laden with spanish moss that canopy the roads
- not sure what it is about the local flora ... kind of an obsessive need to be around the hammocks and palmettos ... maybe a past life thing? Whatever it is, this landscape makes me swoon with delight ... we live in Florida!
- and come January, my big brother will be back in St. Augustine. Knowing he'll be only an hour and a half away makes me just about bust with joy.
- also looking forward to cutting into my stash of fabric and make some new threads
- but I've been hesitating ... feeling like this new environment calls for a different, as yet TBD, wardrobe. My current mostly black and grey urban thing doesn't really seem to fit. Feeling the urge to lighten things up.
- come to think of it, that "urge to lighten things up" is kind of pervasive ... will be interesting to see how it all evolves
- thinking that "lighten up" thing will involve food as well
- but that will have to wait till after my birthday dinner and the holidays
- no sense worrying about eating light until after we get back from our Christmas trip to Louisiana ... don't think boudin falls into the light eating category
- just noticed my wholesale catalog on my worktable ... no idea what's going to happen with my wholesale business
- it's weird to step back and observe my resistance to diving back into a full on wholesale press ... shows and cold calls and striving and pursuing ... at the moment it all feels kind of icky
- that leads me back to #17 ...
- just took a break and noticed the ever growing grey streak in my hair ... which I love! I love the color of my hair ... thank you Mother Nature!
- Wo ... up to #50 ... time to focus on the many blessings in my life
- we have access to abundant local good food and eat exceptionally well
- we are debt free and pay all our bills easily and on time
- we get along with all our family members and now live within a day's drive of almost everyone (except for my little brother and family)
- I make beautiful things that are appreciated by a wide range of people the world over ... not bragging, just continually amazed and enormously grateful
- I am exceedingly healthy and have loads of energy ... there's that question, "how old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?" ... 38
- I look forward to each new day with delicious anticipation ... what will I be inspired to create today?
- I've been married for 34 years to my best friend and it just keeps getting better
- I think we've finally landed in a town where we can dig some roots and settle down
- I'm pretty darn close to being HOME
a few more silly things that are making me happy at this very moment ...
Thanks so much for joining in on my birthday celebration!
with deep gratitude and light filled blessings ...
l i g a - kvk